Jersey Boys (and Girls)

In T-1 hour I will be on my way to the land that spawned Bon Jovi, The Sopranos, and, uh, Bahama Mama's. Yes, I'm going to fabulous New Jersey!

There are about 20 of us going to Point (un)Pleasant for Matt's 30th birthday and I believe the idea is to basically reenact our trip from two years ago. That consisted of water grenades that wouldn't break, a disastrous Pimms recipe, watching Live 8 (now Concert for Diana), makeshift beer pong tables made from hotel room furniture, arm wrestling contests, people getting stuck in the fold-out couch (you know who you are), taking shots from chests and unzipped flies, a trip to the police station, and a late-night break in to the pool. I'm excited!

Could (Not) Be a Lifetime Before I See You Again

I just heard The Verve are reuniting. HOLY MAMA!!!

I haven't had the chance to talk about how I got to see Rooney perform in one of our offices last week. Last Thursday they played two songs acoustically just for about 25 of us at one of The Noggin offices. The two people I work with let me tag along so I kind of stood on the side while people mingled after the performance. I probably said about seven words total to two of the band members but the songs were good and I'm glad I got to go. The songs they played were definitely similar in style to their first album which is all rock-poppy-happy-California-ish. Also, the singer's eyes are like kapow! Hot.
Check them out here:
Rooney - Simply Because

This Forward Is Funny

How To Save the Airlines

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,
Bill Clinton

Distinctive Mint Flavor for Unique People

People in this city just keep getting weirder and weirder.

Lady gets on the subway at 75th avenue today. She was dressed like an 18 year old - hair dyed red (but it was really orange), platform shoes, black leggings, and tight leopard shirt with a waisted belt - but she was definitely about 60 years old.

Side Note for Story Lead-In
NYC Subway etiquette goes as follows: If there are no seats and you want one, you strategically attach yourself to whatever pole you choose, hence staking your territory (F train is easier than the E because the seats are aligned perpendicular to each other.) Generally you get whatever seat opens up in your territory, basically because you've been standing there waiting for it (that's unless there are multiple people in the territory because of it being crowded, and you have to fight for it in that case.)

So anyways, I was at my pole and the trying-to-be-young lady was at hers (NOT close to mine.) A woman in my territory barely has moved from her seat and old-young lady starts running over. I still managed to sit my ass down first and that was the end of the seat battle(although I felt bad because she ran for it, but hey, I had been on the train longer than her and she wasn't pregnant so why should I?)

Turns out a seat opened up next to me anyway and of course she took it. That whole seat fight struggle is not the point of my story though.

The point is that this woman must have had 10 pieces of gum in a 20 minute period! It was disgusting and just angered me. She had a pack of Doublemint Gum in one hand and the wrappers in the other. She would chew a piece of gum and three minutes later add a second piece (does this mean her gum was Quadruplemint? hahaha.) Three minutes after that she would spit the wad into the wrapper (left hand) and already have the next piece in the right hand ready to shove into her mouth so there was no more than a 3 second delay between gum chewing. And she kept repeating the process. Over. And over. And over! And she kept the wads in wrappers in her left hand rather than in her bag, it was gross! I thought she was gonna keel over when the pack ran out (luckily it was only about two minutes until her stop so I'm guessing she got another pack (or cigarettes perhaps) ASAP and is still alive. I don't know how she managed to read her book at all because it was pretty obvious she was only thinking about the gum. I'm all for fresh breath but eew.

Headacheville

On Friday night I raced home to watch the Daytime Emmy awards. I am sad to report that despite being nominated for 17 Emmys, Guiding Light only won two. Although they won for writing and best soap (never happens for GL), not a single actor won.

JonathonROBBED!!!

Liz and I drove into the city on Saturday afternoon. After we parked, we got stuck in the car for a while because of the sudden downpour (neither of us noticed the spare umbrella in the passenger's seat.) We decided to brave the rain and raced to Gatsby's to meet Alex, Nick (who was visiting), and their mates Anthony and Rory. We had a long wander round the LES until we decided on burgers cooked various ways (just to confuse the waiter) at the Pink Pony.

Liz and I then met Ryan at Mercury Lounge to see Electric Soft Parade. I liked their set (it was short) and still can't believe that was their first show in NYC (they've been around for a few years.) The singer was pretty talkative too which I quite enjoyed.

Welcome to the Black Electric Soft Parade

I went primarily for ESP but wanted to see Brakes (or BrakesBrakesBrakes?) because they are made up of ESP and the former British Sea power dude who always does crazy stuff. In order to see their set, I had to stick around for Pela first.

dfgsrgzsg

I'd never heard of this band but the place got packed for them. Turns out they are from NY so I guess that's why. They started playing and I thought the music (rock) was pretty good, but then the guy started singing and I could not understand anything. The fans were really into it which I simply don't get - I couldn't comprehend one word throughout the whole show!! (Kind of like Enter Shikari but just plain incomprehensible rather than screaming.) The singer looked like the singer of O.A.R. but more like a frat guy which visually didn't match the music for me so I just stood there confused for a while. The fans were the worst though - die hard frat-types who at the end screamed for them to play more songs, and the band came back and did! I thought that wasn't allowed when another band is scheduled to play afterwards?! I can see how people may like them, but for me that was the longest hour of my life.

Separated at Birth?

Singer of O.A.R. / Singer of Pela

I didn't want to leave during Pela because I figured I'd already stayed for part of it, what would be the point of leaving then? Brakesx3 came on and the first song was the ex-BSP dude going "Hi, how are you" in a robot voice. Weird!!!! they played some song about Margarita which didn't do it for me along with the other stuff I just didn't get. When they played some song that was him yelling "szz szz szz szz pick up the fucking phone!" I knew it was time for me to leave. I'm going to blame me completely forgetting to call my brother to give him a ride home on my confusion of the music that night.

In the City, It's Alright?

So, the other day I won tickets to one of the In the City of New York shows, headed by Tony Wilson (this is where having seen 24 Hour Party People will come in handy.) I figured I'd heard of the bands playing, it was in a new venue for me, and it was free, so why not go?

Highline Ballroom is located directly next to the projects on West 16th street, across from the old Freight (which is now Frank's) and adjacent to the new Western Beef. What a beautiful venue! What I liked most about it was that it was set up horizontally, rather than deep (which is basically every venue in NY.) It's slightly comparable to The Astoria in London but much much smaller. What I did not like about this place were the $9 drinks (though my whole drink was vodka, seriously.) Ryan thought it was too "clubby" for him but I'd definitely go back for another gig.

Blood Red Shoes were the first band up. Not sure if this guy and gal were boyfriend/girlfriend, brother/sister, or just friends (my guess) but anyways they were decent. The girl did screech a bit on the last song during which a handful of people (myself included) actually covered our ears. Otherwise they were okay. They were really cute too - they stood in front of us during Biffy Clyro and just looked so innocent and youthful. I wanted to take them home with me and plop them on my couch with the rest of my mom's teddy bears (don't ask.)Ryan and I popped a squat on the floor before Enter Shikari came on. Good thing we stood up in time or God knows what would have happened to us. We got pushed to the side and a giant (though empty) circle formed. The band came out (all youngins), the rave-y music started, and I thought that it sounded pretty good but still didn't get what was up with the circle. Band starts dancing, I'm into it, then the singer just starts screaming incoherently into the mic. Huh? Enter Shikari=hardcore + rave?! WTF?! I've never been to a hardcore show (just The Warped Tour once - I think that was me going with Erica F. in exchange for her coming with me to see Travis, and anyways I'm not sure if that counts because I only ended up seeing Bowling For Soup - again please don't ask.) I still don't really understand what dancing to hardcore entails. I mean, why is it called hardcore if people are punching the air, kicking the air, doing jazzersize and capoeira, cartwheeling, running around but not slamming into one another, and taking 10 second rests on the side between whatever it is they are doing? I've been getting crap about this from people on YouTube because I don't know the "art" of hardcore. Good for you if you like it, but I'm still entitled to have had my jaw drop at how ridiculous I think it looks. See for yourself -

I loved all the music (think Klaxons but dancier) but hated the screaming. The band themselves were definitely entertaining to watch (particularly when they danced.) I personally wouldn't pay to see them but it was interesting to see for a free one time thing.

Biffy Clyro were the last band to play. Again I knew nothing about them but had heard the name. They were okay, I'm not really sure how to describe the sound but I didn't mind it. The fact that they were so sweaty and had these thick long beards disturbed me though. They must have been dying from the heat.

That's enough critiquing of bands for the moment. I need to take a short break before I start ripping on the show I saw on Saturday night.

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To the Bowery

Wednesday night was Franz Ferdinand at Bowery. After working later than usual (7:30 pm is late to me - this is the girl that used to be in the elevator at 5:00 pm) and enduring a very annoying subway delay, I was not in the mood to go to the show sober. I downed two quick cheap vodka and sprites and Liz, Ryan and I were off.

lugkuguukg

I was in more of a chipper mood after the quick drinks and a pitcher of pretzels and was fully ready to get my Franz on. Well, I got it on much sooner than expected - Alex Kapranos was walking in the same direction directly on our left! I tapped him and I think the first thing out of my mouth was "I'm in your 'Do You Want To' video!' The convo went something like this:

lugkuguukg

Alex: I just came back from visiting Nick at the hotel. He's feeling sick, isn't going to make it.

Me: He's not going to play tonight?!?!?!

Alex: No.

My face: :/ ?????

Alex: Of course he is!

Me: We're on our way to the show!

Alex: You managed to get tickets?, I heard it was hard.

Me: Yeah! I'm the only one who managed to get them! Ryan doesn't have a ticket, can you get him in??

Alex: Uh. I only have 15 person maximum and I used it up. They won't give me anymore (says in a shocked voice.)

Me: Are you going to play 'What You Meant'? It's my favorite!!

Alex: No, we aren't.

Me: Are you going to play 'Michael'?

Alex: Yes we are!

Me: That's ok, it makes up for not playing 'What You Meant.' (me sounding like an idiot.)

Me: Are you going to play any new songs?

Alex: Yeah, we're going to play five new songs. Also, 'Shopping For Blood'? Do you know it?

Me: Yes, I have it, Superfan! (me being an idiot AGAIN.)

Liz: Do you have a cold?
Alex: (Pauses)...no?
Liz: (Something about how colds were going around.)

That was funny.

Ryan said something about the Bowery Ballroom and Alex was talking about how it was small and how he'd last he'd seen Klaxons and Bonde do Role there. I said me and Ryan had been there but missed BDR.

Alex: Are you all from NY?

Me: We are (me/Liz), but we just came back from living in London. He's (Ryan) English!

Then Alex was talking to Ryan about Huddersfield and they had a conversation about The Cribs and their new album and their last show and stuff.

We got to the Bowery and told him good luck. That was soo cool!

THEN I spotted Alan Donohoe of The Rakes. Before doing anything I took a photo of this random house that was being transported-

Then Liz and I went up to him and another guy and girl, and I was like, 'you're in The Rakes right? And they were like yeah (guy with Alan said that - I hadn't been sure but I assumed so.) Then we asked if we could take a photo with them and the girl volunteered to take it for us. They asked if we were going to their show later that night. I said no (and was really embarassed about it) and I went on to explain that I live in Queens and I'd die from the commute (they were supposed to go on at 1 am.) Then I said I'd seen them in London and I think the Rake whose name I didn't know was happy. Turns out they didn't have tickets for Franz and were trying to work their way in which was really funny.

So, the show was really great! I love FF live. They did the new songs which were all good, my favorite was 'Favorite Lie', and Liz's favorite was 'Turn It On', the final new one that had a crazy 80's beat that was super catchy.Songs I remember them playing (that I knew) in no particular order were:
Jacqueline
Take Me Out
Dark of the Matinee
40'
Michael
Walk Away
The Fallen (the best!!!)
Shopping For Blood

Here is 'Walk Away' -

'Outsiders' was the final song. They did that 3-people playing the drums thing which I LOVE LOVE LOVE (I've seen Doves and Tahiti 80 do that, it just makes the song sound amazing.) Some girls ended up on the stage at the end of the song and were jumping up and down. At first I thought they were cute but it looked very teenagerish and then I kind of wished they didn't do it. We couldn't even see the band leave the stage because of it.


These videos suck, they're a bit of footage of the song, the drummers, and the girls jumping around at the end. It's all bouncy because I didn't think the camera was working, but it was.

Anyways, great show.


Current Music: Jamie T - Calm Down Dearest

Enter Shiwhat?

I just won two tickets to tonight's In the City show at Highline Ballroom. Blood Red Shoes, Enter Shikari, and Biffy Clyro are playing. I have no idea what any of these bands sound like so if you know them and can clue me in I would greatly appreciate it.

I will be posting my awesome story of how Liz, Ryan, and I escorted Alex Kapranos to Bowery Ballroom last night and then met The Rakes in a little while.

Also Ben - I love 'We Throw Parties, You Throw Knives', thank you for the tip!

That Crazy Casbah Jive

Oi! I'm soo far behind. Let's take it back to May shall we?

So, Memorial Day Weekend was all about the Long Island BBQs. On the Saturday we went to Dave's house in Syosset. I just found out that his dad is Julie's family's dentist, how funny is that? So anyways, we played beer pong as could be expected.

Heather and Dave

Liz was not feeling the Dos Equis was pong-playable Although Heather was definitely feeling the Bud Light

I accidentally walked in on some guy peeing at this party. And speaking of the bathroom, I went but the toilet wouldn't flush. It wasn't anything gross, just toilet paper, so I told the guy waiting after me exactly that. He had been hitting on me before (and was promptly rejected) and responded to me by saying "Nothing ugly could come out of you!" EEEWWWW!!! That was around the time I knew I was ready for the next BBQ.

On Sunday we went to Ben's house in Westbury. Me and Ben go way back, all the way to second semester at Westminster when we had Latin America and Globalisation together. My same crew arrived (me, Heather, Liz, and Erica) and our first thoughts were "We are not going in that house" as there was a sign that said something like "Beware of Attack Dog." It actually turned out to be this cute little dog that was literally like the length of my forearm which was really funny. Heather and I played in the family and friends softball game and I scored the first run! (I guess that wasn't too hard considering I was the third up to bat.) Throughout the day we played with Ben's 294 relatives - that included the 4 year old girl who invited us to her birthday party as well as Ben's dad who we played beer pong against. We ended up staying at that one for like 10 hours or something crazy like that. It was fun!!

Then we headed to Heather's friend's BBQ in Merrick but I couldn't hack it anymore. To top off the weekend, my dad made burgers that Sunday. I never thought I'd say I didn't want to see another burger ever again but I did.

Fast forward to last weekend. I don't think I've ever spent so much time on transportation in such a short span of time. Liz, Heather, and I drove to Atlantic City after work on Friday. We hit traffic and it took us a long time to get there (partially my fault - I accidentally toured them around Bay Ridge); when we arrived we had to get our drink on quickly to catch up with everyone. Erica was already in the party mood, it was her birthday after all...

We went to celebrate her birthday, and all of the Albanyites/Albanians were there for Tara's bachelorette party. They had matching pink tank tops that said 'Tara's Fling'/'Final Fling Before the Ring' (see Erica above.) Me, Liz, and Heather didn't want to be left out though so we made sure to wear our Burger King crowns throughout the hotel (I'm not posting that photo.)

We headed to the Casbah to get our freaks on Tara, the cutest bride to be

Erica rockin' the Casbah When in Rome, embrace the foam
Random meat sandwich in between slices of Faith and Erica I don't really know how to caption this They played 'Touch It' followed by 'Pass the Dutch' - I almost had a hip hop heart attack!
We didn't get back to the room until about 6 because that's how we roll in AC I walked from the Taj Mahal to the cab and then around the Trop without shoes. EEEWWW.

Liz and I lost all of our money in about 4 seconds playing Blackjack at the Trop. I can't say the same about Meghan who won over $1100 at a $15 table. Lucky gal!

We had to leave at 8 am because Heather had to be in Sag Harbor (aka opposite side of the Earth from AC) by 1 pm. I ran some quick errands, took a 2 hour power nap and headed back into the city for Gail's bachelorette party.

Gail's Grand Entrance Pre-Party (aka let's shove as much food and alcohol into our mouths as possible BEFORE dinner)

We ate at Tony's DiNapoli which is always fab. They had the best tiramisu I've ever had in my life. We had about 100 lbs. of leftovers which Gail took home for Sopranos viewing the next night (more to come on that in the next post!!)

Introducing the Downward Spiral Going...Going...Going...GONE!
You've gotta love Gail

After we gorged ourselves on late night dessert, I stayed at Meghan's pad. The next day I went to see Vicki's new place downtown where we had the pleasure of seeing part of the Bang on a Can Marathon, which we quickly ran away from.

Let's add up all of my time spent on transportation for the main hours of that weekend -

Friday night - Manhattan to Forest Hills, Queens: 30 mins; Forest Hills to Atlantic City, NJ (inc. traffic): 4 hours

Saturday morning - AC to Forest Hills: 3 hours; Forest Hills to my house: 30 mins

Saturday afternoon - My house to the UES: 1 hour 15 mins

Sunday morning - UES to Battery Park City: 45 mins

Sunday afternoon - Battery Park City to my house - 1 hour 30 mins

That totals 11 hours and 30 minutes. That's pretty funny when you consider the fact that I only got 8 hours of sleep the entire weekend, bah.

This past Friday night I saw Knocked Up with Julie and Sherri. It was great, go see it. I did nothing important the rest of the weekend because I had a 24 hour headache. I did join the gym though, which was about time.

Current Music: Jim Noir - Key of C

Favourite Worst Nightmare

Okay, so I used to think getting stuck on the Roosevelt Island tram was my worst nightmare, but actually, now I think this is.

Watching You Will Light Up My Mind

So, I went to two great shows this week. The first one was The Features on Wednesday night at Mercury Lounge. I didn't let the fact that they didn't go on until 11:20 pm get to me too much, after all I had $2 mixed drink happy hour beforehand!

The band on before The Features were called Wax Fang. Although they looked like the love children of Lynyrd Skynyrd and The Doobie Brothers (aw man, should've added that one to my previous Equations post!), and I wasn't anticipating liking them (I just don't like that Southern rock thang...although I just physically purchased 'On Call' by Kings of Leon and I think I'm actually beginning to like them - shhhh, DON'T TELL ANYBODY!), they were really good. I don't think I'd go see them on purpose but the music was surprisingly decent.

Anyways, The Features rocked the hizzouse (at least I felt like they did even though the only people showing it were the three guys in the front row who were bopping their right legs like they were having a seizure.) They were so good that an about-to-vomit-and-leave Liz got up at the first song and boogied her way through the entire set (can't believe I just said boogied.)

Rollum, my most favorite drummer of any band ever, was in great form (even though he wasn't making his rolling-his-eyes face that I love), as was everyone else. See for yourself:

'Me and the Skirts'

Here are some photos as well:

Crazy Leg-Boppers The Nice Lead Singer

Hi, You Are So Awesome

We met the singer too, he was really nice. We asked what had happened to the encore (because there was none) and he genuinely said he didn't think people wanted to hear one. We were like, what?? no way!! We talked a bit about the new EP (which I bought and I'm loving) and about the tour and stuff. I told him how I first found out about them when they played before Dogs Die in Hot Cars at Mercury Lounge in 2004 but he didn't really remember that gig (DDIHC did fall off the planet so I'd think I'd have forgotten about it too.) I also told him that when they opened for Razorlight in '05 they were way better (but not to tell them - not sure why I said that last bit?)

Super Groupies Strike Again

Then last night I went to see Eric Hutchinson. I knew nothing about this guy; only that Matt loves him and that Erica said he was really charismatic. Now that I've seen him for myself, I do have to say wow, not even at him being funny onstage, but that his songs were really catchy and refreshing. He switched between the piano and the guitar, sometimes with a backing band, sometimes acoustic. He was also into the copy-pop-music-in-a-silly-way thing and dissected Justin Timberlake's songs (he played them to show how they were actually all the same song), and he also ended the set with a 'My Girl'/'Ignition (Remix)' which was sooo funny. Speaking of that, when is Better Than Ezra going to come back? I need a fix!! Anyways, so go see Eric Hutchinson because he's great, it'll be in a small venue, and will be very affordable!

Equations

Some important things I've realized this week...

Dude from Klaxons + Dude from The Features=

Josh Hartnett!

Also,

Jason Mraz

+ Gavin DeGraw

= Eric Hutchinson!

Random Stuff

I'm so far behind. This weekend I will hopefully be posting about:

- Memorial Day Weekend (aka barbeques, barbeques, barbeques)
- Atlantic City
- Gail's Bachelorette Party
- Tequila Focus Group I got mad moolah for
- The Features gig

Funniest Comments Section EVER

Go to Brooklyn Vegan, skip through the first half of the comments section about how everyone had trouble getting FF tickets/thinks scalpers are assholes, start reading at the first Nietzsche post and continue on from there. I'm falling out of my seat with laughter. (You may only appreciate this if you're into music, attending shows, or attending shows in NYC.) Anyways it's really fucking funny.

The Amazing Race

All contenders please have your credit cards ready. The great Franz Ferdinand ticket race is about to begin!

Update: OMG! I got two! lksdghioseb'kiabj efLkm !!!!!!!!! They are playing Bowery, this is crazy!!!

Story NOT About Inmate #9818783

The point of this story about a criminal's drawn-out execution due to the inability to find a vein for the needle is not what attracted me to it - the fact that "the procedure was so drawn out the staff paused to allow Newton a bathroom break" is really random though!!

Shotgun Shine

The second half of the penultimate episode of The Sopranos was great! Let's discuss...

Random Thoughts...

- What's all this talk about terrorism? (I think the FBI dude will be back to cut some sort of deal with Tony for the info he gave up, but all that stuff AJ keeps watching is not foreshadowing anything.)
- What was up with that cut-out of Silvio when they were hiding out??
- Janice is going to take care of Bobby's kids?! Those poor children, UGH!

Predictions...
- I don't think any Soprano family members will die or get seriously hurt.
- But, Phil Leotardo will die.
- Paulie is not secretly working with NY.
- Tony will not go to jail.
- Silvio will not die.
- Maybe Tony will kill Paulie?
- AJ will not take over the business, I think that's way too obvious (it's something one could have predicted from the first episode so it won't happen.)
- Vinnie from Doogie Howser will die since he's on the show all the time now.
- Dr. Melfi is will not be in the finale.
- No flashbacks of dead characters.

Anyone else have ideas?