Back in April, before we'd left, I'd researched bus companies, and there were comments on Trip Advisor about a lot of shady ones. I was happy to have found Bolivia Hop (also connected to Peru Hop), which is owned by Irish guys who cater to the backpacking crowd. For what one might consider a premium price (perhaps for a backpacker - as a working professional it was fine), their specialties included duvets (apparently the other buses are ice boxes), a bathroom on board (although potentially smelly, this is key), English movies (a luxury which later became a necessity as you'll see in the next post), and an English-speaking escort who will not leave you stranded at the border (as other companies do if you take too long, also a key point to note for the upcoming story.)
I had also done a lot of research on what the requirements were for crossing the Bolivian border. The strict regulations are only applicable to US residents, because, you know, politics, so Dave had no need to worry despite the fact that he's been a US resident for over 5 years. After a lot of contemplation, having read several forums and consulting people who had been to Bolivia in the past year, and based on the fact that I'd literally only be going 20 minutes into Bolivia (NOT in the jungle either) for just 2 nights, I decided that I would forgo getting a yellow fever vaccination as I didn't want a shot, nor did I want to pay $150 for it if it seems they weren't checking for it anyway.
Well, when I got to the Bolivia Hop office, the guy in charge immediately asked me if I had the following documents as I'm American:
- Detailed itinerary of my time in Bolivia
- Copy of hotel booking
- Copy of return ticket
- Bank statements
- 2 passport photos
- Yellow fever vaccination card
Well, the answer to all of the above was NO. Apparently, border officials had been changing their minds recently (on a week-by-week basis) for what documents they were checking, and according to Bolivia Hop, they were in a strict mood at the moment. I had a minor freak out, but the guy casually (like, really casually) told me to go to the internet cafe next door and look up a YouTube video on how to forge a vaccination document, simple as that.
We headed next door (this would be the first of 4 internet cafes we'd go to that morning), and I quickly wrote up my itinerary and printed the other documents. I could not find any videos on how to forge the card, and panicked also about where I was going to find yellow paper and a place to laminate it. We went back to the office to ensure that I really needed this, and he then clarified that a black and white photocopy of the signed page would be acceptable. OK then...(I know you are giving me advice as a courtesy dude, but couldn't you have told me about the simpler recommendation from the get-go?)
After taking the passport photos, we went to a pharmacy to see if I could get a shot (even though it was really too late - it's needed 10 days before entry), or to see if we could possibly, and shadily, buy a blank card off of them, this turned out to be useless as they told us that vaccinations are only done at the hospital. Determined to get to Copacabana, we finally found a semi-acceptable vaccination card on Google Images from some girl who had gotten her shot from a doctor (official stamp included) in North Carolina in 2009. We copied the image, and like an 8 year old with a new computer, used Microsoft Paint to very carefully delete the person's name and other non-Meredith information using the precise yellow to match the card image. Then Dave went to the bookstore to find a pen with a similar thickness to what was used on the document, which I used to write and then rewrite my info, and photocopy it a few times until we felt like we had a semi-acceptable forgery. All-in-all, this, plus running around and obtaining all of the other things took about 3 hours (I won't post an image of my vaccination card so as to not completely incriminate myself), yet we still had enough time to find a travel shop and book a tour of the Cusco area for that afternoon, so not too bad!
After quickly scarfing down beef heart skewers for lunch (delicious by the way), we headed out on a tour with Benjamin (pronounced Ben-ha-meen), the guide.
We started the tour at a cathedral which was literally 20 steps from our hotel, where authentically-dressed women tried to get tourists to take photos with them and their baby llamas. These llamas were cute and all, but I needed my fix of full-size ones roaming around freely!
After that, we headed to Sacsayhuaman (tourists call it Sexy Woman, but I love saying just as it looks, in a very pronounced way - try it, it will make you smile!) We were in for a treat during this outdoor tour - a hail storm! Like, giant balls of hail. Yeah, that was pleasant.
Hail...what can ya do?
Complain, that's what we can do...
The ruins were impressive - walls built from giant stones from centuries ago. We just wanted to make sure they were secured:
And then...THERE WERE LLAMAS! WET LLAMAS! Naturally, we spent almost all of our free time from this part of the tour taking photos of them...
Wet llama
Llama...you so drenched!
Yay!
More yay!
Of course, not to take away from the reason we were here, the ruins were amazing...
But llamas! Too cute
We just saw wet llamas. High five, bro.
Cool Benhameen lecturing on Ruins 101...
We toured a few other sites, and came upon this amazing looking scene...
#nofilterbiatch
Why are they called ruins if they are still in pretty good shape?
That evening we ate in a tourist-y restaurant (free pisco sours but nauseating bathrooms), where the people next to us ordered Cuy, a Peruvian specialty. This, to English-speakers, is guinea pig. Yes, I said guinea pig. I had been planning to get one for dinner at some point since it is unique to the country, but once I saw their meal come out I had a change of heart. The plate literally comes out with a skinned guinea pig on it - face, legs, and everything! That's just so you can do the tourist thing and take photos - then they take it back and cut it up for you so you can actually eat it. But when their cuy came back, they kept the whole head on the plate, so I had to stare at this thing (teeth and all!) throughout my dinner, which wasn't very good to begin with. So, yes to beef heart skewers, no to guinea pig.
By the way, several the cathedrals had Inca + Spanish-influenced paintings. For example, you'd see the last supper, where Jesus would have more of an Incan look, and they would be eating guinea pig for the meal.
Up next on the blog - not quite the bus trip we were expecting...and did I get in trouble with my fake vaccination card at Bolivian immigration?
Current Music: Bush - Little Things
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